Colleague Shocked By Naked People in the Digital Dock

Brentford West councillor Guy Lambert reports back

Brentford West councillor Guy Lambert

January 16, 2025

Well the glorious winterval is over and I suppose I need to get back to writing my weekly update. Of course there is not too much to update as I spent last week careering around Scotland having a career break (Ed: too much use of career). OK I was having a holiday. I recant of the c***** break comment.

I’m not going to bang on about that because it is already in the public domain via my shiny new website. I doubt this will go viral but I hope some people will read it.

There are a couple of pictures at the end of this article to make you envious.

As you may have sussed, the source for my blog is my diary because it helps me to remember what I have been doing in the last week (if anything). It started to have some activity on Sunday, when we had our collective councillors’ surgery at the Digital Dock. When I arrived I ran into Dan Bowring who was lurking outside the front door. He had gone all pale and haggard looking and he explained his problem. He had gone into the Dock but discovered it was full of naked people. I am informed nakedness is common in Brentford but usually in the privacy of people’s homes whilst they get ready for a shower, but this was strippers in public. Well, maybe only one. Only Dan and the strippers know. The Digital Dock had been double-booked and the other lot were doing a life class. Ballymore and Brentford TV and The Duke keep referring Brentford as the Riviera (a soubriquet I detest) but that doesn’t mean people are walking around with no kit on. Even on the real riviera you can only do it in certain places (I understand) or when going in the shower.

For clarity, I have no problem at all with people doing life class and I’m glad they are using the Digital Dock but the clash added a bit of drama to my humdrum life. Well, not much, to be honest. As it turned out I had two members of the Brentford West flock attending via the back door, where one’s modesty is protected, which may be a first. Two of them, not the modesty. One of them I was expecting because we had discussed over the phone (she has a problem with bits falling off her privately owned small block of flats and potentially falling on the postman’s bonce).

Talking of bonces, those of us who live next door to what was once Heidelberg have a new phase of the local torture. The banging that has decorated our last few months has mainly finished (though it still happens now and then, a bit like a chicken who (allegedly) still walks around after its head has been removed) but it has been replaced by more serious vibration. This is not in any way pleasurable, though I’ve heard vibration can be. This type is worrying though I suppose it improves circulation in my feet. It has a weird effect on the river which I tried to capture in a video but the computer says no when I try and share it. It is a bit spooky.

The other thing, is we now have a new noise. It is reminiscent of being in the dentists when he/she is drilling deep into your skull but taken through the PA used by the Rolling Stones when they played Copacabana beach with an audience of 1.5 million. Lovely.

Very little extra to report this week. We had a FoodBox trustee meeting and all is settling down there though the volunteers are still very busy. The usual trickle of casework and FixMyStreet reports.

I have been trying to follow up with the few retailers I have found myself as potential occupants of ‘Block D’. I still have no idea who the other occupants will be because it is still a state secret. Perhaps I should apply to Mar-a-Lago where secrets seem to end up at. For the ones I talk to, they are beginning to be allowed to visit their putative new homes to measure up and advance their fit out plans. I think a lot of them are still struggling with the 34 page briefing they were given just before Christmas as a guide to fit out requirements. As far as I know nobody yet has a completed lease.

I will continue to seek information but I don’t want to become another burden on our retailers – they have enough to deal with without worrying about me.

As to my situation, a couple of days ago I had confirmation that I have been expelled from the Labour Party. I find this completely bizarre, because despite some reservations I have about the tactics of the central government I remain strongly supportive of the party. I still have confidence that we will look back in a couple of years and see how much better the country has become with a professional, competent and caring government. Equally – not without reservations either – I still support the Hounslow Labour group, and whatever remains of the manifesto I led on putting together about 3 years ago. My sin has been to urge more pace in the work that is needed in Brentford (mainly) and it seems the local leadership has found this unacceptable. I have never complained about them publicly. There has been no engagement with me whatsoever, except via the Chief Whip and the Political Assistant.

No worries. I will carry on as a Brentford West councillor, will talk to people in my ward and try to defend and promote the things they care about and continue as one of the most active and (I hope) most responsive councillors in the Borough. What I do when a new election comes around in 2026 I don’t know. I imagine I will remain non grata to the Labour Party and I will consider running as an independent, as many people have suggested I should.

Holiday snap from my break in Scotland

I will also be publishing more on my website but this will not generally be related specifically to Brentford. My Brentford story will be here on BrentfordTW8 for the foreseeable.

Councillor Guy Lambert