On the Naughty Step for Uncomradely Utterances

Brentford West councillor Guy Lambert reports back

Brentford West councillor Guy Lambert

December 6, 2024

I forgot to mention last week that I had volunteered for the annual (I think) Homeless Count.

This was to go out at 11pm on Wednesday night and spend some time in the night finding homesless people who may be hidden somewhere in the borough. Because the weather was so bad that night, somewhat ironically they called the count off. Can’t say I had been looking forward to it but it’s obviously something that needs doing. I don’t think they will now do it until next year sometime.

So I came to Friday and that was a fairly clear day, but I had agreed to have a session with the Leader late afternoon. This was to discuss my alleged uncomradely approach and breach of Labour Party rules. We had a friendly discussion (not all about me. Everything should be about me really) and we were both aware that I would be before the beak (beak being him and some chums) on Tuesday, and mentioned that in passing. I’ll come back to that.

During the day I had a wander down to Watermans Park to check on the progress with our overdue marina (not Cllr Sharma, the boats bit) which turned out to be minimal – perhaps overdue is an exaggeration!

There is now a crack and a small leal in the wall of the unoccupied citadel and there is some decay to the pontoons that were put out on the Thames a year or 3 ago.

It was also fun to see the relationship between a heron and a murder of crows. They pretend to ignore each other like me and the flock of females used to at discos in the 1970s but there was more prospect of something happening between the heron and the crows.

I’m told they are going to get on with the marina next year. Like so many things around here, I live in hope.

Walking back there was a dramatic sky to amuse me.

In the evening, I watched a film on the TV – Deliverance - which impressed be back then (blimey, it was 1972) and was amazed to see something very surprising.

Yes, it’s a surprising and pleasing thing for an old goat to see in the redneck area of rural Northern Georgia but yes, it’s a genuine Ford Anglia created by a bunch of scousers in the Halewood Plant where I worked in 1970, just after the Anglia became an Escort. Car geeks will know there was another Escort in the 1950s but you have to be as boring as me to know that.

More culture on Saturday. I drove out to a place called Hughenden, near High Wycombe. An old manor which used to house our PM Benjamin Disraeli (Cream borrowed his Gears to make a record much later). Ben was not at home, having gone on to the manor in the sky in 1881 but some of his clothes were there and a lot of his books.

I hadn’t got around to reading all these, but the Oeuvres de Moliere in 6 volumes are on my list for later. I’ll have to wait until the squirrel has finished them.

On Sunday morning I was patrolling the border area between Boston Manor Road and the allotments in Blondin Park, Ealing. We are trying (and have been for many months) to get some triffid vines under control to stop them eating the fences in the area and the nearby garden sheds. It was good to have a couple of allotmenteers helping and between us and resident Doug we managed to clear the visible ones that were hungry and clear the alley so it is navigable, by the adventurous at least.

We all agreed that some demolition of fences was needed to get a chance to get to the roots. I have written to Elon Musk asking if he can send us a couple of spare billions to help the fence campaign and the beer fund. He hasn’t responded. Probably in a huff after I deleted his X thingy and replaced it with BlueSky as so many of us have done. Not enough round here so please sign up and follow my words of wisdom. Well, my words of all sorts. @cllrguylambert.bsky.social

I was scared by how windy it was on a bicycle so I actually drove up to BMR. On the way back there was a box bike thing called rather appropriately ONO. As I crossed the A4 traffic light Mr ONO (no relation to Yoko) suddenly found himself sitting on the tarmac with his legs out through the doorway, having had an argument with Anemoi (apparently) the wind god. I parked as soon as I could but by the time I got back to the middle there was a motorcyclist and a mopedder helping him up. He was OK and I said hello to him, then he was the saddle (actually he was pushing – sensible man – along the BPR cycle lane though at that point it is shared with the pedestrians).

On Monday I was off to Hounslow House for the Funding Fair. Was good to meet a few voluntary organisations and a lot of the people from the council who support them. We are still a bit short of trustees at the FoodBox so I talked to someone from the Ealing and Hounslow Community Volunteer Service – will be advertising when I get my head around it but we are keen to find people with communication/website/social media skills and someone to take over as secretary. Any volunteers? Pardon the pun.

In the afternoon I wandered Brentford lonely as a cloud and found the weir by Johnson’s Island very lively. It’s the rain, officer.

Also the first spoor I have seen for a long time of Lidl.

Rumour has it they will open early next year. If I could persuade anybody to talk to me I might know more!

FoodBox Trustee meeting in the evening.

On Tuesday I had to go to Stamford Brook where my doctor surgery is these days. They are following up on my breathing, which is not quite it once was and I was subject to Spirometry. Mostly I am OK, though the practitioner thought I might have mild asthma, which would be a new one to me.

When I got home, I had a Teams session with the assistant Monitoring Officer. She has had a FOI request about my activities in Isleworth but I’d have to kill you if I told you what it was about. Trust me, no resident or councillor was hurt in any of this.

In the evening the formal council meeting. I confess they are not really my cup of tea (even though I had one) especially when we have political posturing, which happens too often in these events. Conservatives outraged by the alleged infamy of the council and the Labour team astonished that they say such nonsense. It’s always a bit of fun when there is a bit of insulting and the other side has to take out a bottle of salts to avoid fainting.

At the end, and separately to the meeting, I was informed that the court of Hounslow Labour Group had met in my absence and found me guilty of being naughty with things I said in this very Blog 2 and 3 weeks ago. I am suspended from the Labour Whip for 8 weeks subject to appeal, which I have said I will lodge if anybody tells me how.

I can’t say I was surprised, but I’m not prepared to stop saying what I believe when things in the council are nor working as I think they should. I am a politician by ‘profession’ and I am very clear that I have been elected 3 times not so much as a result of my competence or record (if any) but because this donkey was wearing a red rosette. Nevertheless, as far as I’m concerned, my duty is to serve the residents of Brentford West and the wider group of local residents and I will always do my best for them.

Back on the subject of donkeys, happier times on Wednesday morning. I was invited to the Nativity celebration at St Paul’s school.

In addition to donkeys Syd and Taffy and two anonymous sheep, rabbit, guinea pig etc I was lucky to be there at the same time as the tiddlers from the nursery which is right next to where I live.

Such a joy to see these little ones, whom I often meet when I pick up my bike from its parking space..

Then in the afternoon we have a meet of the lead members of the FoodBox, something we have done too infrequently. We have changed various arrangements and tasks and this need some extra attention to keep things working properly. A lively discussion and I think it was very helpful. I have committed to go to the Rose centre each week at some point and to try and improve understanding by me and fellow trustees. As usual, we really need donations – food and dosh - and especially at this time of year.

Afterwards I go down to the Isleworth Public Hall for the Constituency Labour Party AGM. When I got there I realised I have no vote there, having successfully avoided being on the General Committee – nothing to do with my suspension, which is not from the Labour Party as such.

So straight home for my tea, before waking up to a foggy Thursday.

I love Brentford, and where I live.

Councillor Guy Lambert