Getting Inspired by Lennon and Len Da Vinci as I Await My Fate

Brentford West councillor Guy Lambert reports back

Brentford West councillor Guy Lambert

December 6, 2024

So here I am with number 459. The last few have caused some comment. From the local Labour leaders and from a lot of local people. A lot of people read it, rarely or always and most seem to like me telling them what I have been up to and what I know about what’s going on around here. I used to have a good grasp of that because I ask questions and in the past I got answers. It’s trickier now with more people being mindful of confidentiality. Some people like my style of communication which is what I’d characterise as informal. Some like it being less stilted than council communications.

Others say “ Is he not the unfunniest man on the planet? His 'blogs' or whatever they're called are cringeworthy at best. Regardless of whoever you vote for, the less I hear of him, the better.”

Fair enough. As I sometimes comment, reading my ‘blogs or whatever they are called’ is not compulsory (at least until I get appointed as dictator). You’d better watch it when that happens.

I left you marooned in Isleworth Public Hall with the panjandrums of the local Labour party. Sadly I was not on t’committee. Well, not very sadly as I saw it as a handy escape achieved by not putting my name forward. So I could go home and watch comedy shows to try and up my talent and aspire to be the second most unfunniest man on the planet. I eventually cried myself to sleep and on Thursday I had agreed to say hello to the manager/franchisee at McDonalds.

Normally I try to avoid this emporium as I have enough calories without a Big Mac but I do try to keep some relationship with local retailers, and I like Shafali, the boss. She tells me that business is difficult which is hard to grasp as it usually looks packed. Not my ward these days and I encouraged her to engage with Marina and Rhys. I think she does that anyway and I’m always happy to chat over a coffee. Their coffee is surprisingly (to me) good though when I spill it down my shirt it is not such a positive experience.

On Saturday morning I held the revived Saturday surgery at the library. Well, it actually had not revived much though a chap did knock on the door and asked me where the toilet is. I decided that was not enough excitement for the day so I cycled down to Hammersmith to catch the Hammersmith and City line. Like so many people who are somewhat retired, I have a bucket list. Not for me Macchu Picchu or the Antarctic but I have been getting around – Olympic Park 2 weeks ago, last week Hughenden and this week the British Library. I had been there before for meetings in my job in the university sector but never had moseyed around on my own exploration.

Going to the Euston Road as a 17 year old student in my minivan on my way to Essex I remember driving past this building outside St Pancras. I remember looking aghast at it and remarking to my fellow student friends that I couldn’t understand that nobody had not knocked it down and replaced it with something more suitable for the 1960s like, say, the Brentford Police Station. More than 60 years on this old eyesore is still there.

Inside I decided to have a lunch in the BL restaurant. It seemed to have been modelled on the Honeywell canteens I ran in the 1980s – cooked 4 hours earlier and improved by having been kept warm under lights. Lovely and so nostalgic. A reminder of why British food has such a proud international reputation.

The stuff in there was better. There were some sketches and notes made by someone made by somebody called Len Da Vinci, or at least what I think his mates called him.

Sorry about this. I think his notes are in Foreign.

Then there was something more in the Minivan era

Gives an insight into how art is created and in fact is reminiscent of early drafts of my weekly blog.

It was a nice trip altogether, ending with a day with a pint of beer at the Betjeman Arms inside that ugly old station. Not that I really wanted it, but I have a reputation as an old boozer to maintain. As a prominent politician I have an image to protect even with all the hardship it involves.

On Sunday I had a walk around the river/canal area and (strictly to protect my reputation) I stepped into the packed Brewery Tap. It’s a lovely pub with a hygge (I speak a little Danish) feel but I prefer pubs with another customer. OK it was early on a quiet afternoon but people – don’t forget it is there. When Ballymore have finished the neighbouring block it will be back to being the nicest space in Brentford and you’ll be fighting to get in. Take advantage of this quiet period and make sure it’s worthwhile for them to stay open through the winter.

My walk also took in the new footbridge over the canal at the north end of Brentford Lock West. I decided I should be offering myself as a location consultant to the Royal National Association of Spiders and Arachnoids. It seems the Association advises members to construct webs near the lights, but honestly, it is not a good plan. If you cross the bridge you cannot see any of the webs (one or two) which are not next to lights, but the lit ones are very visible to humans. Of course, I am far too tough to get myself tangled in a spider’s web and I don’t think I am favoured by their dietitians but this of course is not true for flies or other flying bugs. I am not an expert on bug eyes but I imagine like normal people they will be capable of seeing a floodlighted spider web and this may deter them from flying into it and turn themselves into a Little Mac.

On Monday evening it was the Area Forum meeting at the Free Church. In the morning I had been to the new café where Café Capri used to be. Very nice too with a very long menu but I was taken by this programme for surviving Monday.

The Area Forum was quite well attended but as usually in the church it’s very hard for me to hear what people say, which is a bit frustrating for me (and no doubt the residents who attend). Somebody asked me about Lidl (thanks to Dan and Katherine for conveying the unheard message!) but I know no more than what you read in the ‘press’. I had a good relationship with the landlords but they have not given me a contact in Lidl itself and if the council have contacts (they must at least have heard from them about planning) it hasn’t been shared with me. I will have another crack next week because it is important for Brentford (and quite likely for Chiswick and other surrounding areas).

At the end of the meeting a couple of people who I think read the blog and are aware of my concern for Feras, the previous partner in Café Capri. They share my distress about the lack of movement and asked me if I had any news. I haven’t and nor had Feras or Bia at the hairdressers last time I asked. I believe the NHS dentist is moving into the High Street but this is no more than rumour, and my attempts to talk to him haven’t got anywhere (yet).

Meanwhile I heard that two local artistic businesses which were booted out of the Max Factor building and moved to Sunbury in desperation, are now being booted out of there too. Same story – the people who were taking their rent and offered them a lease were allegedly not entitled, same as at Max Factor. Important parts of what makes Brentford is the town it is and both desperate to find premises here. At present I have no answers for them despite enquiring everywhere I can think of.

On Tuesday meeting I met a senior manager of Fairview who is in charge of the development on the Heidelberg site. One of the boat dwellers, plus Dan Bowring attended too. In fact the boat dweller initiated it because it is a terrible problem for her, especially as she works shifts. The noise and vibration resulting from the renewal of the river wall is very upsetting for those who live on the river and in Ferry Quays. Also apparently bad in Brentford Dock too. A couple of weeks ago Fairview asked us via a survey whether we would like them to get on with it quickly and make more noise for a short time or carry on for a longer period with less intensive noise. I immediately said do it fast and believe the river and Ferry Quays residents said the same, but Fairview said they were deluged by responses from Brentford Dock who favoured the slower approach. Fairview say they can’t say accurately how long it will take, because the geology is unpredictable and they have to stop frequently because the noise is outside the planning arrangements if they go all day. Bad for residents and apparently for Fairview too. He told me it cast him £10000 a day to run the river wall construction which is probably a bit alarming even for a developer.

At lunchtime I had a coffee with the two main directors of Brentford Voice. They are upset by me being suspended from the Labour Group and were thinking of writing to the Leader expressing their discomfort. In fact, quite a lot of local people and local organisations have said nice things to me, which are much appreciated.

In the evening it was the Green Drinks at the Watermans Arms. I try to go when I can and it is always a nice interlude.

Wednesday I met at that new café again, this time to sort out some FoodBox issues. I finally had a PIN for the bank card but I didn’t have one of those card readers you have to use to authorise a payment. I pinched one off the former treasurer and had a nice chat with him about the world, universe, the price of bananas etc.

In the afternoon I met on site at the Brentford Rowing Club, together with Sue Sampson, with whom I had discussed their plight. They are another victim of the Max Factor eviction and have no inside space to run training etc. They serve well over 100 schoolchildren, mostly from local state schools and Sue and I are trying to find a way to accommodate them somewhere they can support these local children. Some youngsters from the Nishkam school arrived when I was there and were messing about with rowing boats. Team Keane is passionate about supporting children from modest backgrounds to become real contenders in this normally a sport for the wealthy. They told me they were the only team at Henley with children from ordinary schools, with the competition coming from famous public schools. I’m proud we have them in Brentford and doing my level best to support them to stay here but their financial situation and their facilities are very marginal.

This evening, Thursday I was down through the storm to Hewson Books next to Morrisons for a book launch. I was invited by local man Douglas Benford who I have met many times but didn’t know he was in the music business. This was for a book launch for a first novel written by someone called Alan Newcombe. Apparently it is a Gothic novel, though he didn’t know it was Gothic until he had written it. Free wine was on offer and I felt obliged to buy a book – signed in my presence by the author and only £10. He read some passages from it which were appealing so I look forward to actually reading it.

But there is no doubt that the highlight of the evening was a performance of what I would call (quite likely wrongly!) improvised music. This was played on a wide variety of instruments and other sound making devices and involved a good chunk of theatre. The picture tells the story.

Douglas Benford is on the left with an accordion and Alan Newcombe our author is on the right with – I don’t know – a recorder?

If you look closely, the standing woman appears to be playing her small guitar with a clothes brush, though at other times she was using something that looked like the bow normally associated with a violin. I normally have an attention span which rivals Boris Johnson for shortness, but I was riveted to this performance throughout. It was a lovely evening and so glad I made the effort. Look out for events there, they are well worth your time!

So that’s me for this week. On Monday, I have the hearing of my appeal against suspension, which is to be held via Zoom in front of a panel including the Labour Party Regional Manager. I don’t know who else is on the panel and I will try to find out. I guess the outcome of that will determine whether this donkey will be authorised to sport a red rosette in the near or longer future. Wish me luck, or good riddance!

Oh – getting festival around Ferry Quays.

Councillor Guy Lambert