A French Dispatch and a Richmond Maze in That Ends Up in Chiswick

Brentford West councillor Guy Lambert reports back

Brentford West councillor Guy Lambert

February 14, 2025

I was off to France (very) first thing on last Wednesday. Pleasant calm crossing to Calais and down the French Autoroutes to Paris. They flowed very well (though they do know how to charge for the privilege) until I got to the Peripherique. But actually that flows pretty well too, though I am always alarmed by motorbikes going often very fast between the lanes of cars.

My hotel was quirky

I've never been propositioned like that in a hotel bedroom before. Or anywhere else as it happens. Anyway I politely declined.

The next morning I was down for breakfast and I got another question.

Some people say the French have one-track minds, but it's untrue. When I went to the exhibition hall they had a one-track mind on other matters. Old cars. It's always tempting to overdo old car pictures. I try to control myself but it would be mean to deny you this delectable Delahaye.

Or this staid Jaguar

Or this reinvention of the 2CV with a lot more CVs and Euros than the original.

Though I'm not convinced it could transport a basket of eggs across a ploughed field without breaking any, like the original could.

I can only take so long in an exhibition hall so I got in my car and went searching for Montlhery, sort of Brooklands in French. I hoped it would look like this

But I couldn't get in and all I could see was this. the top of the banking.

Still I got a sense of the place and it was evocative.

This is looking like a travelogue for someone who has no talent for it. Oh well. There will be more stuff in a minute.

I drove back to Calais and got there several hours before when my ferry was due. I assumed they would let me take an earlier one. Wrong. In the old days the person at the check in would have said OK. Not as if the boats were overcrowded. But no - you have to go to the office. A rather sour woman in the ticket office told me coldly that yes that would be possible if I paid 3 Euros. I checked - NO, I said 83 Euros. I decided to wait, but drove away along the Normandy coast, past Cap de Blanc Nez to Cap de Gris Nez. It was extremely arctic with a drizzly gale coming there from Russia, not with love.

Well, I like bleak, and that fitted the bill. Actually quite rough on the channel and I was staggering back from the Duty Free despite I had not touched a drop.

Back in Blighty I had a busy Sunday. First our joint surgery though for various reasons there were only me and Katherine there, Balraj and Rhys are no longer councillors, Marina was in bed ill and Dan and I think Emma were busy out on the doors. I had one from my ward with the inevitable housing issue which I'd been a bit slow following up.

Later on Sunday I was off on the trusty bike to Hounslow House.We were having a training about SuDS. It means Sustainable Draining Systems. If I was in the US I would probably now be in prison with the other attendees for using the Su word which I reckon is a bit woke. Well, that meant I didn't go to sleep during the session.

Love maps. This one moves

There was a load of information (I have a 78 page Powerpoint presentation) but my amateur interpretation is:

• We have quite a few flood areas
• The way we manage it is not effective - too many gardens paved over without draining, lots of rivers are now underground (EG the one under Brook Road South) and very few water butts to slow the flow of water.
• Global warming makes it worse in a number of different ways and if the ocean goes up the Thames barrier won't cope
• I'll happily share the powerpoint and a short document about what you can do at home if anyone is interested (mail me)

I need to think what else can/should be done and how we can all help (the above is a good start!)

On Monday with another trustee I interviewed somebody to join the FoodBox as a Trustee and at the end of that we had a new person to serve as secretary. Really great to have organised people unlike some of us.

On Tuesday I spent the morning in a meeting about the NHS - the West London Borough Based Partnership. This is a body which brings together people from the NHS locally - or what is relevant to Hounslow - with resident groups and little me. There was a lot about making digital stuff more accessible. I have found that really handy and this very day I had an online consultation with a doctor who ended up prescribing me antibiotics to deal with a funny sore I have on my leg. I booked it, sent him a picture and a description, and we talked for 5 minutes. Later this afternoon I picked up the drugs from Morrisons. All worked a treat and saved my time and far more importantly my GP's time.

The trick is making more people aware of this and how to use it. Actually (as I said in the meeting) the way digital tools are used is a bit of a mess but there is a lot of work to improve this and make it more accessible to all of us, including those who are not really digital.

After that, a coffee with the man who runs the Creative Mile. Good conversation and I was able to help him out by introducing him to my excellent Brentford plumber!

Then a FoodBox trustee meeting. Our chair has just added a pair of twins to her family and the treasurer has failed to match that - just one little squawker. I did warn the new secretary to be careful because there seems to be something in the water if you're a trustee round here (not if you're an old single bloke!)

Yesterday, Wednesday, I had two early evening events. One was with the Richmond American University London. Following the NHS system where Charing Cross hospital is nowhere near Charing Cross the Richmond University is in Chiswick, obviously. The bloke who introduced it said - Welcome to Richmond. I rolled my eyes. It's bad with Brentford businesses and private schools pretending to be in Kew but the Chiswick University is pretending to be in Richmond. By the way, the flat where I live is in West Belgravia, obviously. Anyway this was a Watermans event, presumably sponsored by the Arts Council. It was a Polish artist who had an electronic maze.

A few people were playing with this - I suppose an app - but I have to admit I am too much of a philistine to 'get' it.

Like I said, Richmond is hosting this.

In Chiswick obviously. I recommend you catch the 237 or 267 rather than the 65 or you may be very confused. OK I admit it. I went first to the International School of London on Gunnersbury Avenue first. At least that is really in London. Then I went confused to Chiswick Business Park to find Richmond. I suppose the people from Watermans were lost too because the only people I recognised there were the people from the West London Chamber of Commerce.

The next one was at Brentford Football Club. Sorry to disappoint you, but that is not located in Huddersfield but in our very own Lionel Road South.

Good update on our Footer club with several councillors, 1 MP, head of West London Business and other worthies. I have been hoping to get something going on the so called Duffy site where we have always hoped to have some affordable housing next to the stadium. Good to see something is now in train, and of course I know about Griffin Park see Griffin-park.co.uk

I am looking for an update on the applications from the planning people.

Nothing much new today. I have a number of bits of casework - cleaning the footway on the A4 (now done) stuff about lights underneath the M4 (I have been on that off and on for nearly a decade, as have Ruth Cadbury, BFC and various residents but it seems to be a fight between TfL and National Highways in an empty warehouse. Or bank vault with no money in it and my constant attempt to inject a bit of urgency or even non-urgent activity into the Block D retailers.

I seriously fear the council will succeed in frightening or boring or impoverishing the potential tenants into submission. I had my hair cut today - I wanted to wait till she had her new shop but my hair was getting silly - by the Brentford hairdresser formerly from Albany Parade who is now using a chair in a hairdresser place on the London Road in Isleworth. After she cut it two people appreciated my hair, which had not happened previously since I was 7, and that was my mother.

No progress on her lease and her calls go unanswered and ignored. The cafe owner tells me at least the lawyers have started talking to each other. I remain of the view they should have been in their shops months or at least weeks ago, but I seem to be a lonely voice. I will try and talk to the local Chamber of Commerce again tomorrow and see if I can get more energy there. We need a team approach

Councillor Guy Lambert