Sincere Condolences to Beaten Candidates Whether Real or Imaginary

Brentford West councillor Guy Lambert reports back

Brentford West councillor Guy Lambert

July 12, 2024

As I promised, I did very little last week as I had friends staying with me and prioritising them. Caught up with a few emails etc though there are quite a few I haven’t got to yet and some others got scanty attention. Never be shy to nag me – I do try to respond to every one but sometimes they slip through the net.

Thursday two weeks ago was polling day and we were encouraged to go to Hemel Hempstead which was a Labour target seat, and I’m pleased to report now has a Labour MP. I spent nearly 20 years working in Hemel Hempstead as my old employer Honeywell became Honeywell Bull, became Bull, became Steria, became Sopra-Steria with a wee bit of Zenith and Integris – ah, multinationals. Hemel was one of the old towns which became a new town (or perhaps just an expanding one) back in the 1960s/70s and you can certainly see the join.

I was sent to an old bit, down by the canal (could have got there by boat of I’d started in April) and it was rather nice down there. There was plenty of newer homes which I bet annoyed people who lived in the older ones way back, but life was more relaxed then, and Hemel is in the middle of nowhere. The response was excellent, with a lot of people determined to get rid on their Tory. The incumbent was no longer standing and his 14000 majority became a 5000 majority for Labour’s David Taylor. Hooray.

Good to see that Brentford house numbering convention is repeated in Hemel 112 is between no 64 and 66…

Decided to stay home with my friend to see in the new government and it did feel like a combination of July 4th and 1st January. In case you were asleep, the Labour Party won in what the pundits call a landslide so we keep Ruth and Seema Malhotra for most of our Borough and add Andy Slaughter who now has Chiswick. Ruth has subtracted Chiswick from her empire and added Whitton, where I had done a bit of canvassing. It felt weird to be not able to annoy people in Brentford as I have done on I reckon 9 previous occasions, mostly successfully except the 2016 EU referendum.

It was sad to see – well, not really – my old colleague Nisar Malik who has now become the Worker’s Friend, standing for George Galloway’s party, perhaps supported by his old mate (and George’s) Theo Dennison. Sadly he trailed in a poor sixth.

In fifth place was the elusive Reform candidate David Elliott Kerr We are told he does exist, and I don’t know whether he (or Nisar) turned up at the count, unlike George Galloway, who was presumably too busy impersonating a pussy cat. This picture is not in fact David Elliott Kerr (can’t find one) but is the definitely real candidate for Clapham and Brixton Hill. I must get his make up person and hairdresser. Ain’t democracy great.

On Sunday I was up in the Chiswick Labour office at 367 High Road. Here’s Ruth looking very smart and very pleased with herself. Unlike me, who is wearing some weird glasses that my friend Gerald gave me. They make everything look bright and a bit yellow. Psychedelia without the LSD.

Now trying this week to get properly up to speed. On Tuesday I delivered the last of my friends to Heathrow and more or less immediately I was off to my first meeting with the London Road Safety Council. This has been the Melvinator’s stamping ground for years but has been given to Katherine Dunne and me now Mel has become a Worshipful Honorary Alderman rather than a scum councillor like me. Mel turned up at the Guildhall and had been personally invited by the President (not Biden or Trump). It was a bit alarming because there was a proposal to close the council, mainly because there is a dearth of Road Safety Officers in the London councils so whilst the councillors have ideas there is a lack of anybody to make them happen. We didn’t think this was the right response, so I volunteered to join the Executive and explore whether we could team up with other road safety bodies. Anyway, I refuse to be the harbinger of death.

Not much in my diary but I have been trawling the streets of this old town. This is the old Housing Office, which was vacated a couple of years ago. There was a short term use by Dr Bike but he was evicted at short notice because it was wanted for conversion into accommodation. Although planning was granted some time ago nothing has happened yet but it has now got those lovely metal shutters, presumably to deter people who think it would be neat to break in.

I have recently been campaigning to get the area at the bottom of the Police station cleared of mess. This mess comes up from time to time but it got really bad recently. Our enforcement team have threatened to accommodate the land owners in cells in the police station and they have now cleared it. It is not a beauty spot but has definitely improved. They are now telling them they need to erect boards around it to stop it happening again though everyone is resisting my idea to lock them up.

I met my old friend who lives in Brighton and works as a massagist (despite being 80 now!). Her house has always been full of quirky things and I liked this little tableau.

Finally, in this thin week for local activity, Fairview Homes is not lazing, but getting on with replacing the river wall. Trouble is this is excruciatingly noisy. They are doing their best and have arranged some alternative daytime accommodation in the Holiday Inn, which a few affected have welcomed. Let me know if you need this – I know the noise affects more than Ferry Quays and the moorings

Well, that’s all I have to say for now. After all, there’s a test match on, and some kind of football on soon that some people seem to think is rather important. Good to see a Brentford boy and a Brentford product in Europe’s best team.

Councillor Guy Lambert