Not Causing World War Three But Maybe a Swiss Revolution

Brentford West councillor Guy Lambert reports back

Cllr Guy Lambert

May 31, 2024

On Thursday afternoon/evening I attended a meeting of the Friends of Parks which was held at the West London College in Isleworth. None of ‘our’ friend groups were in attendance – the ones who attend are from Isleworth to points west, plus a chair from Chiswick. Not sure I learned much but good to see these people who work to improve our parks.

On Friday I was nice and meeting free but caught up with emails on various things – a stolen plaque in St Paul’s Rec, involvement with potential drug issues in one of our council blocks, Cadent digging up most of Boston Manor Road (which continues), updates on the old Morrisons being used for LaserQuest (nobody knows where that sign came from) and as a supermarket (more later), parking issues (some things never change). Potential improvements in the gardens of another council block, an application to turn Great West House into flats (more later), traffic management in Layton Road, mess around the old police station, housing problems in two different council blocks, a nonsense claim on TW8 forum, Clitheroe’s Island within Boston Park and its land and water squatters.

Well, that’s a little example of what a ward councillor gets involved in. Most of it is unlikely to improve the world in a serious way but World War 3 is not facilitated either, or at least not much. They say that if a butterfly flaps its wings in the Amazonian rain forest,  it can change the weather half a world away . Perhaps if you follow up a flytip in Brentford West it can lead to a revolution in Switzerland, or perhaps not.

As usual I firkle around the ward too, and then Saturday dawns and I go to Station Road to chat to the Air Quality Brentford (AQB) crew and give them a bit of a hand and mainly just chat (I usually do it all wrong if I try and help with the gardening!). Here they are clearing a path through the jungle and rescuing a few coke cans and beer bottle which have sadly got isolated from their drinking partners. Their noses are a bit out of joint because there is a plan to ‘improve’ this area but it’s not clear what it needs, given that AQB have been working on it for years and we don’t see what it will achieve. We think there is far more scope on the other side where the car park is and there looks to be more scope for improvement. A little task for me to find out what’s really intended and whether we can find a better plan.

There was something weird going on by the Manor in Boston Manor Park but it looked a bit extra-terrestial and I thought if I went in I might be kidnapped by aliens and transported somewhere very safe like Rwanda so decided to give it a miss.

Sunday was the Brentford Market, always worth a visit. I was there only briefly this time, partly because I was contemplating a trip up to Big Smoke as it was the Free Ride day when thousands of cycle hooligans in Lycra (just like me, obv) ride around central London, like in this picture.

I spent a few minutes exploring Brentford and discovered an open Hewson Books. Nice shop to spend too much time but the official big opening is not until Saturday, when local celeb Robert Rankin is said to be making a visit. I like the Staff Picks such as the Outsider by Albert Camus, which I read at school up North. Of course, we thought he was similar to Albert Tatlock and probably born in Wigan.

Down at Workhouse Dock, for the first time I saw people sitting on the Dock of the Bay watching the ships roll in and no doubt watching 'em roll away again, yeah but I doubt they saw many ocean liners there. Looks lovely though.

Someone said there was something going down in Isleworth and on my way there was also the Foodies thing in Syon Park. That all looked too complicated so I rode past, averting my eyes, and sure enough there was a small event in the little park between North and South Streets. I think it was organized by the British Legion and there was a military flavour, including a rare (I think non-breeding) pair of Chelsea Pensioners in their scarlet plumage.

Another lovely empty day on Monday – this not being on the cabinet has benefits – but after all it was a Bank Holiday so may not be habit-forming.

Tuesday I was called to the doctor in their new ‘lets find out what’s wrong with him before it gets him’ approach. It was described as a stroke check but all the nurse did was take some blood from my arm and it was good for once coming back as ‘no problems.’

Then I was in the Griffin with a couple of Brentford Voice bods talking about… Brentford. It felt productive, or the start of something. Afterwards I listed about 40 things that I wanted us to follow through. Mostly updating what’s going on and in some cases trying to get something going. Once we’ve fleshed them out a bit I think we should publish them somewhere and get some community communication – both ways – going forward.

In the evening it was the annual meeting of the council, commonly known as the Mayor Making. It marked my formal resignation from the cabinet (if anyone has not been paying attention, I am continuing as a ward councillor) and my attention was not helped by the fact that my hearing aids had run out of battery. As they do if I wear them all day and forget to charge them so I looked very rude when Shantanu said a formal thanks for my service as a cabinet member and was not aware of it at the time, so that was not a good look at all. Anyway, the main event was the election of Karen Smith as Mayor, with which I am truly delighted. To put icing on the cake she nominated Hounslow Community FoodBox as her Mayor’s charity. So you lot do your duty and give lots of food and money to your favourite local charity. Yes, I’m a trustee and I declare an interest.

You have probably noticed that Rishi Sunak has called for an election. I can’t blame him because it would be seen as plagiarism if he followed the Conservative fashion of resigning and his chums couldn’t find the courage to sack him. So as he obviously enjoys his job as much as he would like to drill a hole in his head (or probably less) he had to find another way out. Anyway, that pitches us dumb politicos into another round of canvassing and another period of purdah. I doubt the residents of Brentford are particularly keen to see us knocking on doors again so soon but we’ll have to do some. The good news is that nothing else is going on and if it is we generally not allowed to say anything. So it may be relaxed for me, though in a minute I’m off to the Steam Museum to talk again to those jolly sailors who are working on making Brentford London’s first Heritage Harbour.

I did say I’d say something more about Morrisons (as was). A couple of days ago I spotted a huge lorry in the back lane with one of those elegant concrete barriers on it, and spotted this had been replaced by a padlocked gate. There were 2 vans and a car in the normally deserted car park. Today it was down to one car and a very big Alsatian and its (I hope) master. Something is moving, perhaps to begin work on Laser Quest (if the landowners are terrible liars) or a new supermarket (if they tell the truth.) Still a secret and my contact is on holiday (perhaps it’s half term).

Oh, a new picture of what’s happening in what used to be Heidelberg. Work (and especially noise) continues apace

Oh, I promised to say more about Great West House. As I have probably bored you with before, I have a lot of history in Great West House, though it was called Honeywell House when I arrived in Brentford in 1977 and later became Computer House, having been renamed by a creative genius. Well, for a while I was manager of Honeywell’s buildings and my biggest problem in Brentford was finding parking. This was before the days of Controlled Parking Zones so when self-important directors complained at me that they couldn’t find a space I suggested they could use the road like everybody else. They (not Honeywell directors) knocked down the church opposite and whilst they got round to building a permanently empty office on the site I managed to get a lease for extra parking, available for a few years. At some point, the bank that was our landlord sold it to a Swedish family company, but I understand it is now owned by a company from the UAE. It probably sponsors Manchester City. Anyway, they have given up trying to let it as an office and are looking to take advantage of changes in planning law to turn it into flats without any involvement from the council and very little duty to build decent homes or pay anything towards infrastructure and the like. I’m sure Rishi Sunak and his ‘rabble of coistrell curates’ (I have been re reading Evelyn Waugh) will be very proud when they produce a competitor in Brentford for the excellent APT Living Parkview development.

Of course I would not to say or write anything slanderous or libelous and no doubt what is being planned for here as a result of legal changes created by the coistrell curates will be a wonderful place to live.

Councillor Guy Lambert