Holiday Update From Councillor Guy Lambert

Has had a refreshing holiday in sunny Austria

Another off-piste blog this week as it’s now Friday morning and I’m only back from Austria yesterday evening.

I tried to avoid logging in to Hounslow during my few days away but it’s hard to resist doing a bit of it. Even so I find this morning I have 174 unread emails in my Hounslow inbox, which means catching up will take a while. Watching England marmalise the Aussies will make good background :-).

OK so I remembered how mad it is to drive a ridiculous car like mine something like 2300 miles there, back and around and about. The cost is quite scary when you look at it and it’s 4 longish days driving, plus German motorway driving standards are beginning to emulate UK (beneath your dignity to drive anywhere but the ‘fastest’ lane or at worst the second fastest) so it’s not as much fun to drive. Ridiculous as before. I brought a friend back with me which mitigates the cost a little, but really!

So the good news:

They have these wonderful wine gardens in Vienna, known as Heurigen. Note that dirndls are very much in fashion there: it’s a bit like being surrounded by Morris Dancers.

And on a couple of occasions I had the chance to take My Little Pony for a canter along this slightly astonishing cycle path next to the storm drain known as the River Wien in the heart of Vienna.

They have a dish known as Zwiebelrostbraten which is probably my favourite of all dishes from all cuisines and pretty well unknown here (my attempts have been pretty miserable) [If only there was an Austrian Chef in Brentford..., Ed]

They have splendid churches

And interesting pieces of ironmongery which help keep the birthrate down

In unlikely places

With gloomy epitaphs

Google translate struggles with 17th century German but roughly “Since you ask I have been pastor for thirty-nine years and also a dean. Now  I am 70 years of age and have a noble position. My name is Isaac Neuhofer and I'm now quiet because I have reached my last days. By the love of God I ended the bitter struggle and snuffed it on the 24th July 1677.  Now you who have read this know you are only a guest in the world and must die as believe you me you will not remain”. Chummy of him. Note: any proper translations gratefully received!

On the downside roads through forests are narrow, Audi A6s are wide, and mirrors have a strong mutual attraction

Having made good time on the way back, it was galling to get to Calais and queue for over an hour to get through passport control. The French side (who look first) waved us through without looking. The UK side took about 2.5 minutes per car – 90%+ UK registered - and only had half the booths manned. Is this ‘The Hostile Environment’ or are the government softening us up for Brexit?

Someone made the comment that my blogs are wordy. So on this occasion, that’s all you’re getting.

They also play footer

The fact that Rapid Vienna’s 28,000 seater stadium had a gate comparable to the Bees on a bad day could be connected to the fact that away fans (and English idiots) couldn’t partake of the beer and hot dogs without a club card so there were about 7 away fans.

Cllr Guy Lambert

August 16, 2019