Weekly Update From Councillor Guy Lambert

London Elections seem to have taken over this week

‘Who or what’ asked Richard Hannay ‘are the 39 Blogs?’ ‘They are a series’ replied Mr Memory ‘of semi-humorous, semi-political, semi-deranged weekly updates from a fat old councillor in Brentford, West London chronicling his activities in brief periods of consciousness between his election in July 2015 and the glorious 5th May 2016 when Sadiq Khan was elected Mayor of London and Martin Whelton elected Assembly Member for South West London’.

And when I woke up, it was a glorious May day, birds cheeping across the unfordable River Brent and even the aeroplanes subdued: it’s one of those blessed days when they’re going in the wrong direction and all is rather peaceful.

Anyway, back to the job in hand. Number 39 will be short, partly because I took half the week off and partly because a busy day beckons, persuading the burghers of Brentford to get out and vote for the good guys.

Friday morning, interspersed with the usual sporadic exchanges of emails with council officers and residents on matters of casework great and small, a teleconference session with our head of compliance at the Credit Union. Our dreams came true when Grant came through the door, whose day job, working for one of the Big 4 accountants, is advising insurance companies how to keep the Financial Regulators quiet (sorry I mean how to implement best practice and keep their investors and customers safe, obviously). If we can’t shut the regulators up – sorry I mean satisfy them of our perfect administration – with him on board we obviously aren’t trying.

In the afternoon it was a canvassing session, mainly in Whitestile Road: a nice little band of brothers and sisters including Martin Whelton who has worked so hard on this campaign and will work so hard for London if he’s elected: it will be a travesty if the awful public transport denier Tony Arbour is elected yet again.

Saturday morning I’m off up to Donington Park for a long weekend indulging my guilty secret. ‘Doctor, I like to stand in hailstorms watching old cars driving round in circles’. Anyway there is not much that stirs my soul more consistently than the sound of a 5 litre Chevy V8 in the back of a Lola T70, though I also like watching Austin A35s dicing with 7 litre Ford Galaxies too.

Coming back to the real world on Tuesday, I catch up with various stuff then get a call from Mel Collins, who is concerned that over-aggressive pollardisation (is that a word in English?) of the willow tree on Ealing Road has killed it. He needs my eyes to give it a good look over and I’m pleased to report that new branches are beginning to sprout out all over the place so the tree is definitely alive.

I spend the afternoon in the Labour office in Chiswick, picking up materials for today then taking a hammer and doing a bit of boy stuff, nailing ‘Vote Labour’ signs to old bits of wood which have been carefully designed for maximum availability of splinters. As if by magic a Zip Van appears in the car park, driven by Ms Cadbury’s unfortunate husband and the two of us spend the early part of the evening touring Isleworth and Hounslow trying to find the houses who have asked for a sign and then trying to find some way of erecting one, having first denuded Mr Halford and his chums of cable ties.

Wednesday morning bright and early to lurk around the gates of Lionel School, reminding the mums and dads that tomorrow is polling day and they had better get their asses out to the polling station. Some of the children are very interested and it’s always fun to do the school gate gig (though speaking for myself I have a strong preference for the afternoon!). Then a day at home doing email and a short meeting with the site manager in Ferry Quays before setting up shop and digging some trenches for today (Thursday) in battalion HQ in a house on Ealing Road. We’ll be at it from 10 till 10 today so if you see a crazed Labourite give them a wave (and 3 votes please!)

Guy Lambert

May 6, 2016